A training run of errors...

the workout: a bike-run brick workout. It should have been easy...

left house. glanced up through my rear view mirror. If everything had gone to plan, this is what my car would have looked like from the outside-

this is what was actually there-

forgetfulness.  it happens.

Went back home, got my bike, got to the park.
Back tire leaked air as quickly as I pumped it in.  *sigh*

change out back tire, and didn't make too much of a mess doing it.  Greased up my hands a bit, though.

Wanted to change from pedals to cages, with a view towards biking in Five fingers.

Over zealous.  Open hand hit on my wrench let cassette teeth biting my hand-

Cassette teeth are sharp!

Start biking, finally.  Mile into bike, see signs that path is closed.

Starts laughing.

Bike on roads, no problem, 35 minutes and 10 miles later, done.  and fairly happy for it.

Start run- feeling like I'm running through molasses, but running fairly fast.  It's hot, though.

Run for the forest; mosquitoes like that.  Hydration backpack keeps blood from getting too viscous for them to suck.
And they really do suck.

Planning fail; water runs out mile six. Two miles left.  Hydration pack works better with water.  Mosquitoes miffed.

One mile covered in trees; starting last mile heart rate high, pace slow, and don't feel like collapsing from heat.  Walked it in.

good times!

Oy. allergies.

The thing I really don't like about openwater swimming is that I always have this allergy attack that takes days to go away. Ugh.

next time, I'm *going* to find my swim bag with my goggles, ear plugs, and most importantly, nose plug. Because this is just not very much fun...

Aqua-Run!

There's the thing called the Aqua-Bike, but for athletes that don't do the run thing. It's like a duathlon (run-bike-run) except it's a swim-bike-swim.

I was on my way home from school, knowing that I wanted to run, but I also wanted to train for battle of waterloo, coming up in about 12 weeks.

Though I didn't have any of my summing gear, I did have my running shorts, my five fingers, and a pocket with a zipper. I had my heart rate monitor and Garmin 310. So I thought: why not?

I got to Pontiac Rec, threw on the appropriate gear, set the watch for multisport, and took off to the lake. I swam about 17 minutes (for abysmal swimmer me, that translates to about a third of a mile) ran to my car to pick up my sun glasses and hydration pack, ran 8.5 miles, dropped all that stuff off, and did the swim again, finishing where I started.

I was good- I actually found some sort of rhythm when I was in the water. I was struck by how I swim in 2D the way Woodstock from the Peanuts flies in 3D. And how swimming in five fingers wasn't so bad. I got them well and truly wet, did the run with no problem, and go them well and truly wet again.

Now all I have to do is figure out a comfortable way to bike in them...

Motivation?

Looking for a way to find motivation... since I'm no where near used to it, heat is killing my desire to run.

Oh, how to get started?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod

Location:Home

enough lollygagging. time to get serious again.

For the past month and a half, i've been taking it easy... running 3-4 days a week, putting in some decently long runs but also skipping lots of days for no real reason.  the body needed a break, and the semester started to get busy, and I shorted my running because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

that's all over, starting this weekend.

This weekend, if I've done my math right, marks 18 weeks before Woodstock, where I've signed up to do a little running.  Also, 12 weeks to Battle of Waterloo, which I seriously need to start training for seriously.  else death may result.

So, what's on my plate you might ask?
running.  Swimming.  Biking.  In five fingers.
deciding to do the Ultra in five fingers or not.
attending to this problem in my right hip.  *grumble*

and I may even spend the weekend drawing up a program.  Tentative miles per week:
50s in May
60s in June
70s in July
80s in August
60s-70s in September

hell yes!  this sounds like fun!

24 miles in five fingers...

Almost double my furthest in five fingers prior.  but ya'know, it was my 36th birthday (well... day after) and I wanted to do something fun and for myself.  And this seemed the very thing.

I was shooting for 36 Kilometers (~22.5 miles) and missed by a bit.  I took my camera, and did my best to have as much fun as possible with it.  the only thing that would have made it better is to have a running friend along with!  But it was a good time on my own- the weekend was full of activity with people.  I really needed this to destress, have some down time and enjoy myself.

Lot's of Pics Here

At the Pontiac Lake beach

In the Huron River

Looking for trolls!

Wednesday

There are lots of reasons I like to run; Wednesday was one of them.

No, not Mr. Wednesday from American Gods, though if he showed up I'd be sure to run the other way; but it was a relatively cold, blustery day during the group run.

Sun was on it's way to the horizon.  Clouds were dumping rain.  We got the double rainbow thing, and I was struck at how clear the purples and blues were standing out.  Can purples and blues be vibrant, especially against a storm cloudy gray sky?  With the Sun making everything glow gold, I guess they can.

I love running in the rain.

I love getting the feeling of... hunger... to run fast.  When it's all i can do to reign in those impulses.  Running smooth, running easy, but there's also that feeling of "let's see what happens" if I were to cut loose.  It was a struggle to repress that urge.

Hopefully it'll hit again on Sunday.  I still don't feel recovered from the marathon, but there are always other factors in play.  I'll let you know how it goes...

Random and mostly disjoined thoughts on my training

Some reflections on my training:

Number of week: 18
Number of Shots: 19
Miles run: 1020.
Hours of running: 160
Average Pace: 9:25

Deepest snow experienced: 8" (non-drift)
Coldest Temps: ~-10° with wind chill.  Still wasn't wearing a jacket. (took it off, truth to tell)

Favorite discovery: you don't fall backward if you're doing the Good Form Running thing.
Second favorite discovery: you can do threshold intervals during a long run.  It's good for you!
One thing I wish I had done more: hard intervals
Another thing I wish I had done more: marathon pace runs
A final thing I wish I had done more: progression runs.

Flaky promise made to self: no restaurant hamburgers.
Favorite moment during training: running the superbowl 5K, going to a sub-7 pace and feeling great!
Biggest fear: the ice-pick in my shin feeling again.
Biggest inconvience: GI issues during my runs (no pun intended).
Solution: Tums, and the occasional use of dried leaves.

Favorite new gear purchase: Garmin 310!
Second favorite gear purchase: Nathan HPL 020
Third favorite gear purchase: Microspikes
Odd feeling: My gear is turning me into a clone of Jeff and Al of RUT

Biggest thing I learned on raceday:  house of cards falls from the base.  A minor, conscious effort to tilt my pelvis posteriorly kept me from slumping forward in my spine, decreasing the thorcic kyphosis which leads to a terrible cervical lordosis.  

Happened to me all the time at the end of a marathon.  My posture would be the same as if you looked up at the ceiling, then bent at the waist to keep the same neck angle but were trying to run forward.  Horrible waste of energy.

Book that's inspired me to think about running crazy miles: Once a Runner
Book that's inspired me to think about running crazy miles in five fingers: Born to Run
Best analogy to how I felt during training: wad of cookie dough
How I wished I felt: carved out of wood

Three shots into the wind

It was supposed to work out perfectly.  18 shots in a fifth.  18 weeks.  The weekend of the marathon, to celebrate the end of the training cycle, I'd drink that final shot with great relish.

Of course, I didn't think that my light hand with the alcohol would bite me in the end.  And deciding against the weekly shot last time may have been a mistake.

Because to finish off the bottle, I poured and drank three shots, which is significantly more than I've drunk since the running fit Christmas party.

I think the Jack Daniel's training program was a success, although I don't know that I would do it again.  I'll probably leave out the whiskey next time.  But I'm truly happy that I was able to do it- not many have, would be my guess.  I really should have taken a picture... :P

Martian Marathon

First the numbers:

Time: 3:27:46.4
Pace: 7:56/mile
Place(s):  AG 12/31, Gender 68/281, OA 71/415

I really couldn't have asked for a better race day.  The temps were perfect for me: in the high 30s to start, in the 40s for the bulk of the race, and probably low 50s at the end.  I don't believe that I really started sweating until mile 10, which is unusual for me.

Here an obligatory map of the course:

The first 10K flew away in a blur.  I do remember thinking that I had better slow down, because my first goal was to run the final 10K faster than the first.  It was an attempt to keep me honest about not going out too quickly, and I think it might have helped a bit.

Not as much as I would have liked, but that only would have happened if it had come true.  I hit the 10K at about 48:40, or a 7:51 pace.

In any case, I remember having random thoughts flow through my head, thinking that I had better note things down if I wanted to write them up as a blog post, and then thinking that the only memory I'll have for the race is that I wanted to write a blog on it.  Which is a tad ironic, but it's one of the dangers when you promise race reports and have no idea what to say.

I do remember cheering on and being cheered on by friends, running for a while with H, whom I hadn't seen in a while, and thinking that the way will be more clear when the half marathoners start back to the finish.  They did, and it was, and I didn't feel any sort of desire to turn around with them.

Time passed, and I hit the turn around at 1:43:16, or a 7:53 pace.

Then the hills started.  I really don't remember running down them, but I sure do remember every time I looked forward I thought "great.  another hill. did we really run down all these?"  More miles passed, and I finally hit mile 20.

There is a mystique about mile 20 of the marathon; most of us don't run more than that for a training run.  And I've often said that the halfway point of the marathon is mile 20, because that's where you really have to start spending psychological energy to keep the legs moving and form from going to hell.

And it was my plan to go from marathon effort at mile twenty slowly up to all out effort at mile 26.  And I think I did a fairly good job, although my pace doesn't reflect that at all, although my heart rate does.  Check it out:

The red/purple represents my heart rate during the race; the blue my pace.  Aside from a sharp spike at mile 11- something I don't remember and didn't feel- my pace didn't fall off (go above 8 min/mile) until about mile 21, where there's a fairly increase in my heart rate.  Pretty much for the final five miles of the race, my heart rate hung out in the 190s, getting up to 204 at the end as I was sprinting for the finish line.

I would have liked to have run harder, but I don't think my body would have been too happy with me.  Perhaps next time I'll see if some endurolytes or S-Caps or something will be helpful.  Could be I was in atrial tachycardia- runs in the family- but it's one of those things I'd need to be running with at least a two lead to find out.  Which I do, but sadly it's not set up to take as specific a reading as would be necessary to get a proper diagnosis.

It was also interesting that I felt like some of my muscles just decided to go on holiday.  I swear I could feel parts of them shut down and say "Okay, we give up."  They threw up their (figurative) hands and gave up.  It felt like carrying extra baggage.  

The end of the race was interesting- for the final couple of miles I was trying to chase down a runner whom i didn't realize till later was one of my coworkers.  I mean, we never really saw one each others face, and we've only worked a couple of shifts at the same time, but it was kind of interesting.

Right around mile 26 a couple of friends of mine (G and D)showed up to cheer me on and run me in.  This was particularly nice because the wind was right in my face and I was able to draft off (and be pulled in by) one of them. 
Also nice was the fellow behind the microphone knew me and not only cheered me in as I finished but plugged the running fit at which I work.

My boss was there at the end and congratulated me, for which I thanked him, and I wandered punch drunk through the  chip removing, medaling and watering ritual.   My friends steered me towards food, other friends, and finally the massage tables.  Massage.  Almost as welcome as the water at the end of the race.  Amazing, that.

So I got most of my goals time wise.  I didn't get my "can I run an intelligent race" goal, but I figure with the temp difference and the downhill/uphill difference, I didn't do too terribly.

Some other random numbers:

1st half: 1:43:16 or a 7:53 pace
2nd half: 1:44:28 or a 7:59 pace

One minute, 12 second difference, which isn't bad.  I'm not displeased.

1st 10K: 48:40 or a 7:51 pace
Last 10K: 50:25 or a 8:08 pace

One minute, 45 second difference which means more in a 10K, and is significantly off my goal, but I bowed to both RPE and heart rate, and didn't try to push myself to cardiac arrest.  that would have been unfortunate.

It was a really good time.  If I have friends who would want me to pace them through it in the future, I'd be happy to do so.  I've heard people complain about the course, but since I don't run on it that much, I kind of enjoy Hines Drive.  For now, it's time to recover, spend some quality time with a foam roller, and see what other adventures may be in the offing.

My next race is in two weeks: the Trail half marathon.  I ran it for the first time in '06 in a time of 2:24:02.  I think I might pace someone, I may decide to race it, or I might just go to enjoy myself and not worry about my time.  Decisions, decisions... Perhaps I'll do it in five fingers.  That might be fun. :)

Man, things do change

Huh.  I'm going to be waking up in about four hours.  Nice.

I used to have a sheet listing all the things I should be doing on the night prior to a race, to make sure I didn't forget anything (I can just imagine leaving without shoes) and so forth and so on.

I'm a bit more relaxed now.

I still certainly suffer from pre-race jitters, but I don't fight them now, and I think they have less power over me.  at the very least, I don't get as frustrated in trying, and failing, to fall asleep.

No, these days it's just me waiting for gun time, and trying to distract myself.  The hard work has been done, and the taper is hours from over.  Tomorrow I get to see how well Daniel's' program works. Imperfectly followed, of course, but I still tried.  And did fairly well, i think.

Anyway, plan for tomorrow.  Start off at a relatively slow pace: 8:10-20.  Hang out there for a mile or so.  jump up a bit to the eight o'somethings, and hang out there for a while.  When I hit mile six or seven, and feel like I'm fully warmed up, try to drop the pace into sub eights.  No faster than 7:50 on the flats; perhaps a bit faster on the downhills, but only if I've paid for it on the up hills.

I hope to be through the 10K in no slower than 51 minutes, but no faster than 49:30.  We'll see how that goes.  Take the first Gu at the first water stop after mile five.  Settle into my groove, hanging out at an barely imperceptibly faster than eight minute pace.  Keep my form loose and relaxed.  Keep my turnover fast, light, and easy.  Well, as much as I can.  Keep the muscles in the back of my neck as relaxed as possible- they really like to tense up when I get fatigued.

Hm... I wonder if holding my pelvis at a more posteriorly rotated point would help with that.  Perhaps I should try it... after the race. 

Anyway, I'll take my Gu at the fives, and hopefully when I take my last one at mile 20, I'll be somewhere near 2:41 time wise.  that's when I get to see how I'm doing for real.  My hope is to decrease my pace a few seconds per mile- not straining mind, but putting just enough effort in to hit the finish line... well... totally finished. 

What I'd love to see is a 7:58 mile 20, 7:52's or there about for the next couple of miles,  high 7:40's there on out.  It'll be more taxing than the LT workouts I've been doing at a 7:20 pace by that time, I'm sure.  But I do hope my body is ready for this.  If it happens, great.  If not, I'll be good anyway.

Time to try to sleep.  Three hours, 30 minutes to when my alarms are set to go off.  Good times!

the night before the night before

races are all about making the right decisions at the right time, and the few days before the race are key.

So, of course, I spent tuesday night reading a book till 3:30 or so in the morning, and had to get up in time for work. Let's say four hours of sleep on the outside.

Right now, I'm on a roll when it comes to studying, and I don't really want to stop. But it's the night before the night before the marathon, when I should get all the sleep I possibly can.

So, of course, I decide to type in my blog, doing neither anything productive nor sleeping like I should. Which is why I have only myself to blame if things go poorly Saturday.

If this were a role playing game, I'd've failed my common sense roll.

[edit] Yup, mistake.  I got about five hours of sleep.  But I did get a lot of studying in!  :)

One week left. Minus a day.

I think I'll skip my shot today; partially because I'm feeling under the weather, but also because I don't feel I deserve it.

Reasons I hate the taper:
I'm used to interacting with food as if I'm burning 7000+ calories per week in running.  If I'm only burning, day 3000, this is not so good.
There's an inverse relationship between my (psychological) stress level and the amount of exercise I'm getting in.
Lethargy is a vicious cycle.  "bodies in motion tend to stay in motion, and so forth..."
I was on spring break these last two weeks.  I had all the time in the world, but the schedule told me not to, run, damn it.
There seems to be a positive relationship between my immune system and the amount I'm exercising, to a point.

Yesterday I skipped my planned nine mile run.  Today I skipped my planned six mile run.  But I slept for about 11 hours, which I almost never do unless I'm feeling sick.  The plan called for 46 miles this week.  I got in maybe 30, with a bike ride which was about the equivalent of a six mile run.

Pretty weak.  Next week will be more interesting, I hope.  Threshold run tomorrow.  Easy runs Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday.  Race Saturday.

I'll finish off my bottle of Jack.
I'll do a final write up of what I think I've learned.
I'll figure out what I'm going to do after this race.

Tomorrow the final week begins; I'm really looking forward to what its going to tell me.

Well, hell and damnation

Ya'know how you sometimes have dreams, and those dreams seem quite far away but possible if things would just align perfectly?  And striving for those dreams makes them that much more worthwhile?

Well.  The BAA made a certain dream that much more difficult to attain.  Oh well, such is life.

So far as I can tell, they took a blanket 10 minutes from everyone's QT.

So, at my current age I'd have to run an average 7:06 to hit a 3:05:59 (I don't know whether they'll still be giving the extra 59 seconds).

As if maintaining a 7:29 pace for my current QT of 3:15 wasn't hard enough.

Oh well.  If I have another break through, like I did between '06 and '07, perhaps I could get there.  Otherwise, I guess I'll have to learn to be content without ever qualifying.  I guess there are worse things in life to learn how to have to do...

http://mybaa.org/BostonMarathon/2011.htm

[edit] Well, my face is red.  :P  Happy April Fool's!  

Changing

I like to change things up in my training.

For instance, I've run five marathons and I've never used the same training program twice.  Having the experience of following some new training program has taught me new workouts, new philosophies, and made me do things I never would have.  Daniels' 19 mile training runs with LT intervals is a good example.  I've never come across anything like it in any of the other programs I've tried.  It's good, and hard, and I think it's made me a better runner.

Diet has changed, too.  Last cycle it seemed every time I had a long run and ate out (and I was eating out quite a bit last year) I had a hamburger with fries.  Partially because it was typical fairly cheap in comparison to other menu choices, but also because I like them and it gave me lots of calories in protein and fat when I needed them.

This time, though, I haven't been eating out nearly as much- maybe once a week or so with my Wednesday night post run group.  At first it was an unconscious decision to not order a hamburger, but eventually I made it into a conscious one.  There was the connotation that it was something that I did last year.  This year is different.  Not better, perhaps, but different.

Anyway, I had my first hamburger today.  It was... okay.  I made it myself, so that might account for it's mediocrity, but I expected some vestigial memories from last year.  There wasn't any, really.  It's odd, too... there were some great things about last year- 1:37:08 half (faster than I ever thought I'd be- faster than I am now, certainly) and some not so good memories (the injury that set back my training and contributed to a decent but not great 3:32 Bayshore).  Triumphs and disappointments. 

But there wasn't anything like that. It was just a hamburger.  It's funny how the meaning of symbols can change over time when you aren't looking.

Why yes, I am crazy

We like to complain about the weather in Michigan. Figure it's the
same everywhere, but I'm looking at the future forecast, and it's
looking kind of warm. I mean, very warm for a runner.

It's 30 degrees right now. It'll get up to 50 or so today. Later on
this week, the day will start at 50 and go up to 70. 70 is warm. Very
warm. To warm for me to train in until I get used to it. But the issue
is if it's this warm during Martian, I have a feeling I'm going to be
well and truly screwed.

Like I said, it's going to be very interesting to see what happens. :)

Just a test

I'm just wondering if this works.

Sent from my iPod

Two weeks to go

Saturday run- the run I feared- went really well.  Two miles up, 15 at marathon pace, two miles down.  My splits were a bit off, and some were slower than others (I think one of them was down to a 8:08) but for the most part I was spot on, and only a couple of seconds off of an 8 minute pace average for the 15.

Feels good.  A decent confidence boost- much better than the fiasco that was Friday.  And though it started off chilly, the sun was up and the people were out, and I saw a number of other runners out there both in my group and not.  Even though I ran the majority of the miles alone, still kind of nice to feel as part of a community.

I did discover that fencing really doesn't hold much of an allure for me.  Its fun, but it's not great fun.  If I had developed more relationships with the people there, I may have tried harder to get out there more, but... it just isn't a priority, and I don't strong incline to it.  Was nice to see some old fencing friends again, though.

Also nice to run with RUT this morning.  Good folk, and hopefully I'll be able to make it to a goodly number of their runs this summer.  I would really like to get a bit more time on the Poto, and I do like Island Lake, too.  Although if I do go to Island lake, I may really be tempted to bring all of my tri stuff and do a proper swim/bike/run and the like, making it and all day thing of exercise craziness.  Who knows?  The trail goes by Spring Mill Pond.  Maybe I'll just take a short cut and try to swim across while others are running.  It would only work if I manage to cut 4/5ths of the distance off, though.  My running speed and swimming speed are *vastly* different.

Next week will sort of be interesting.  I'm supposed to do 60% of my miles, which equals 42, but I not only have the two Q workouts, but the "week before the marathon" work outs start to come into play.  Between the two I'm pretty sure I'm at 50 odd miles, which is a bit more than 42.

No biggie, I think.  It'll be fun!  I may just skip the Saturday run, since I have to work.  Ah, the sacrifices I have to make for real life.  It's a terrible thing.  :P

Two weeks.... really something close to 12 and one quarter days.
Less than 100 miles of training.
Weather, luck, and accident/injuries permitting, I get to really let my demons come out to play.

What I would do differently... ("I want" rant, part 2)

This is a preliminary type thing- a retrospect of this season's training.  The double Jack Daniel's(') has been fun, and though obvious I'm the only one I know who has done it, so whatever.

My first thought is- I want more miles.  70 per week is a lot, but I want more.  I think it would be helpful to my running.  And I think my body can take it.  Everything going well, next time I do something like this I'll have more weekly milage. This wasn't a fault of the program so much as when I put it together it seemed like a good number at the time. I know, a reprise, but it's an important theme.

I want more progression runs, which I define this way:  Start off with a couple of miles of warm up.  Do five miles at 15 seconds slower than marathon pace.  Five more miles at marathon pace.  End with five miles at 15 seconds faster than marathon pace.  do a couple of miles of cool down.

See if you can choose a hilly route, too.  Just to make it fun.  :)

I want more speed work.  There was a decent amount in the program, but I had in my heart of hearts a bit more desire to do 400s and 600s and 800s.  I wanted to spend more time on the track, even though that wasn't really a possibility during the winter.

I want more marathon pace runs.  I think I only had four or so on the schedule for this training cycle, and that just doesn't seem enough.  I decided to throw a mile in at marathon pace for my run today, to see how natural it is, and was almost completely unsuccessful at holding an 8:00 pace.  I held 7:45 for about a half mile and then slowed down to 8:10, which left me with an average of about 7:55- not bad, but not what I wanted.  I needed consistency, and I don't have it.

I want to fix this shin thing.  Occasionally, I feel like I hit a stride which is vastly different from any stride I've had before- all fore foot, using my calves both for shock absorption and propulsion, hard work but fairly smooth.  it takes a lot out of me.  I usually hit this stride when my shin is killing me because of the herniation thing.  I wonder if this is the way I should be running, or is it a gait flaw which will eventually do a lot more damage than pain it avoids?

I think I want to serious work on lowering my body weight.  I was running really well at 165, and I'm wondering if I could possibly do better, and be less hurt, if I were to lose a good five- or even ten- pounds.  Yeah, I did look pretty gaunt at the time.  Oh well, I'll deal.

I think... perhaps I'll sign up for a marathon in the fall.  I know bunches of people are talking about Columbus, and Grand Rapids has a certain appeal.  Of course, if this shin thing doesn't go away, maybe I'll just stick to trails.  That might be the way to go.

Daily Mile challenge

This was not a great time to accept a challenge.

The Daily Mile is not unlike a cross between a running log and facebook, except without the postings of friends becoming with friends with people you don't know and updates about mafias and farms and stuff.

It does, however, have a garmin connect feature (new this week) and the ability to issue and accept challenges.  Also, there's a leader board amongst you and your friends on who's running the most weekly miles.  The trash talking is all in good fun and the like, part of me really doesn't want to be humbled on the leader board.

Which brings us to challenges.  The first challenge I've accepted is to run 200 miles in April, so I'd have to  average about 50 miles per week.  I don't foresee it as too much of a problem, because I have a great ability to screen out things I don't want to see.

I'm tapering.  I might be up in the 50s during the first couple of weeks in April, but it might be in the low 40s, too.  I might sneak in a few miles, but the idea of sabotaging my marathon because of a silly daily mile challenge doesn't seem terribly smart.

Also, marathon recovery usually takes a while- usually a couple of weeks, if not more.  I'd love to be the guy who is able to do an easy 10 the day after a marathon, but I'm just hoping that I'll be able to wander about without looking like I've well and truly damaged myself. 

And lastly, I'm getting more into the spirit of doing triathlons, I think.  There's a part of me that really enjoys having the beginner's mind.  The knowledge that I'm so amazingly slow in the swim and so mediocre at the bike that I'm almost certainly going to be in the cellar of my age group cuts off any competitive impulses.  I can go just to learn, and enjoy myself.

I like to do well.  It's just that I have to change my definition of "well" to fit the circumstances.

Which comes back to this challenge.  It'll be a challenge.  Which, now that I think about it, is kind of the point.  :)